In her I found inspiration, but in Him I found my strength. If anyone has ever asked me to describe my mom’s character. The answer would be, she was the Proverbs 31 Lady. From as early as I can remember all the way up to her last breath, her main goal in life was to live a life that reflected Christ. Don’t get me wrong, she was a human and yes, she made some mistakes along the way but the legacy she left and the lives that she touched far out weight it all. As her sister-in-Christ, she is the one who explained to me the plan of salvation and lead me through the sinners prayer that summer night so long ago. As her daughter, she nurtured and taught me how to live. She introduced me to Bible study and gave me the tools to know how to seek out the truths that lied within. As her adult daughter, she became my rock, my confidant and showed me what unconditional love looked like in the human form. To those around her, she served, taught and mentored. Upon her death, we discovered she met with a group of ladies whom she prayed with weekly that had the same challenges in life as herself. Her devotion was her growth and strength in Him. At her memorial service, our pastor stood before a packed church remembering my mom and said, “I would go to the hospital to give her inspiration to be the one who walking away inspired by her.” I don’t tell you these things to put her up on a pedestal. I’m sharing this with you so that the story is clearer for you to understand. During the last two years of her life was the beginning of the testing of my faith.
Up to this point in time, my husband and I was able to finally provide the source of her second greatest joy, a grandson from her bloodline. The two were unseperatable. She was his caregiver while I was at work and had taken him on many trips before he started preschool. As any grandmother would be she gushed over him. During the spring of 2006, her blood work from a regular visit came back abnormal and with further testing it was confirmed, she had leukemia. The testing of my faith wouldn’t start until sometime later. The day that I knew the final results were going to come in, I took the day off from work. I got the call early that day confirming what I had feared. I spent most of the day crying, pouring my heart out to God and reading through different passages of Scripture. After a few hours, God washed over me a peace that could only come from Him, that she would be fine and He had it under control. Life was fine, she started treatment and by fall that same year the cancer had went into remission.
The Testing Begins
On Good Friday of 2007, like in a parallel universe two life altering events were taking place. At our house, my husband was expressing his dissatisfaction with life, our marriage and how he needed a separation. In the next town over, my mom had been taken to the hospital only to be told that the leukemia had come back and had changed form. When I got word of my mom’s condition, I felt as though I was placed between a rock (my marriage) and a hard place (my mom’s health). I told my dad what had taken place; we agreed it was best to salvage my marriage then visit mom on Easter. My husband and I did not separate (but that story is for another time). Over the course of the next few months, she was in and out of the hospital until it came time for her bone marrow transplant. She came through with flying colors. During the fall she was pronounced cancer free. The next year was going to difficult for her and a new life style that included a fistful of drugs, three times a day along with sterilizing everything. She was doing great and we were praising God for all that He done. Then it happened, she was rushed back to the hospital.
In His Love, Crisi